Posts tagged ‘Poetry’

My Twin Soul

Your love

The warmth of your affection

My deep longing for them

My longing to be with you

My imagination

And the memories of you

Will always keep me warm

Bring me to life everyday

But I wonder

That when I miss you

Does it have to be so hard?

My soul feels empty

My heart can’t stop weeping

Chorus:

{

You are in my soul

My heart beats with your name

And its scared you might be hurt too

Cause it wont stop grieving

Your love is in my veins

Your face is all I see

Thinking that you might be in pain too

These tears wont stop streaming

}

May be I’ve been waiting too long

Its getting really hard to hang on

Cause me

In my daydreams

In sleepless nights

All tangled up

Been waiting

Only for you

And your love

Counting days

Just waiting

Chorus:

{}

Without you

My life feels so incomplete

Like missing a puzzle piece

So it’s getting hard, you see

And I’m thinking

May be for you too

Cause this heart of mine

Just wants to stop beating

The Lonely Lover

As the night falls, in a house where no one lives
A lonely lover cries
His eyes aren’t wet, but he’s got his heart bleeding
Sorrow is not leaving

A spirit passing through a closed door
The walls reflecting on the wet floor

Before the morning sun, in the house of broken dreams
A lonely lover lies
His eyes are set, and his heart stopped beating
End of all his grieving

The lonely lover died, the lonely lover died

In life love mortified, in death a fading felling

Death brought him healing, just a fading feeling

Confession of an Obsessive Lover

I think love is the strangest and craziest of all emotions. when logic, commonsense and reasoning are actually overruled by a strange force or forces acting in our mind. or may be in our hearts too. i have often thought about the prospect of what if… what if she actually loved me? will i be able to play my part, and play it right in doing whatever needs to be done to keep that sacred union of two souls alive? not let it die tragically of pain. would we be together for ever? will there be happiness till end times? thoughts are flushing inside my head. some deep voice that i can never tell whose, whispers to me repeatedly, “dont lie now”….  and i know the answer could very well be no! which means, this love is only going to leave her in pain. the thing that is meant to heal, causes misery and pain. how could i desire that which is going to hurt her? dont i love her? dont i love her that much not to hurt her? but my heart still desires. beats faster with every thought of her in my mind. desires to feel the warmth of her love. desires to look at her face, may be one of her picture at least…. my arms want to hold her and wishes time to stand sill when that happens. i desire her to love me! how could that be? i really dont know. is it bad to desire someone’s love, even if it means more hurt for them?

i dont think my heart wants to know. cause it overrules all these thoughts of logic and reasoning. it only know that it does not have that love which it desires so madly. it just wants that love and will not stop feeling deeply distressed. almost in a permanent state of lamentation.

its strange that the insight came to me when i looked at heavens. or may be its not so strange after all. it was the night when in a deep melancholic state i looked up at the dark and starry sky and thought about all this. i have always believed in an intelligent entity woven  all around us in everything. may be there was indeed some kind of communication and revelation. i realized why my heart was actually distressed. i knew that our paths had to lose each other. no matter what. i had made a choice. there was only one way out!

Strange how love makes you forget all the past realizations and turns your focus only on the present. but isnt that what every one tells us to do? live in the present. and ‘they’ also tell us that love is the greatest of all the things. but why does it feel like the whole world around you is conspiring up to force you into doing the opposite? i feel like a coward sometimes. but i also believe that in the end the most important thing that matters is how you feel. does it mean that i am afraid? afraid of the world. afraid of living in it. afraid of the good things in it. afraid of life.

even as i am thinking about all these my mind is forced back into thoughts about the one thing that i dont have. it is steered into sadness at the thought of not having the one love that it so pathetically desires. it is back composing sad poetic phrases most of which get lost in random thoughts, just like the moments i spend these days. i am not able to seek my way out of this invisible shell around me that says “i am going to be a loser” all over it. feels like a part of me now.  it also feels like i need to get used to it. but i am still trying.

Song of the Subconscious

I am invincible

My soul, indestructible

My life is infinite

Shaded from Mortality

I create my destiny

Fate is but my choice

Nothing dominates me

The Spirit hears my voice

Darkness cannot keep me

My path lights up from within

Diseases cannot harm me

I am self-regenerating

I can see everything

I’ve got all I need

Consciousness guides me

I am liberated and free

I am invincible

My soul, indestructible

My life is infinite

A part of the Immortal Tree

No Remorse

Aim for stars

That fade out before you reach them

Touch down deep

In the deep-sea but miss the pearl

Build a castle

Then burn it down once its all done

Climb to top

When it’s all set for the downfall

Seek answers

To a question with no end

Dream a dream

But don’t wake up to make it real

Live a lie

Cause living true might be less fun

No remorse

Nothing is insignificant

de ja vu

will you ever know how it feels like to love someone who doesnt love you back? how it feels like to be awake in the middle of the night, when the rainfall never stops and your stomach is always in ropes. perhaps someday you’ll know how it feels like to be me. perhaps someday you’ll see, what you have done to me. how traumatizing it is to remain friends with someone you are madly in love with. to see somebody else become all that you wanna be, all that you’ll never be. to be flooded with the streams of moments that you could never be a part of. how agonizing it is to see their face every moment, everywhere you go, in everything you do. perhaps someday you will know why my heart turned blue. its true, oh yeah, its true. i’ll always love you. and you’ll never love me.

i dont understand your conciliation. god! i dont understand you. a girl like you who knows it all should also know that it really hurts. its not your fault that you dont love me. but hay, not mine either that i fell in love with you. strange, how we get haunted by the very love we’ve always wanted. how did it come to be like this?! i dont know. may be its just me. and my stupid senses. i never wanted to forget you. but i wanted the weights taken off my chest. it was coming down. it was  slipping away. and for a moment i thought i can live thru. but you didnt give me a chance. i saw the moon dance, on a melancholic song from the east. a bloody beating sphere of red. lands a shockwave in all directions. blowing me back to square one, where i started. beaten, broken, looking all gray. perhaps the only way out is to go away. its getting hard for me to say. getting hard for me to stay.

I still watch the moondance on a song from the east….

Flashback

Oh yeh, i remember…  i once offered to heal your broken heart. Perhaps your first one to start. You said no, i couldn’t be the one, i was losing my years and you were too young. Days passed. months passed. You got a new job. Years passed. A new life had begun for both of us. And then you broke your heart. Again and again. My heart never longed for anyone but you. And then suddenly you crashed into my life again. You wanted to meet, catch up and have some fun. I felt it was too good to be true, i wasn’t a fool. But yeh i was in love, and you were irresistible. We met, we spoke. We laughed, shared thoughts. And i fell. Fell and fell hard. Fell apart. Love was what i needed. But you weren’t looking for one. Just a friend to help you heal and have some fun. I thought no harm done. But it turned out to be untrue. Hurt had long way to go.

You needed me to fill a hole in your heart. I needed you for much more than that. My weakest point in time, i knew only you could have saved me. But yeh, i didn’t wanna be saved. Cause i was not the one for you. Still i had to take the plunge, i drowned, not knowing that my heart would be shattered. Into so many pieces that i could not even recollect. I tried to scream, but my voice was blanketed, suppressed by the sound of my broken heart’s beat. Yeh, it could still beat!

For me a day to cherish forever, for you a day you might not even remember. For me a beautiful memory, for you the day of a big blunder. I thought i could love you, and i did as much as i could. I don’t now if we were best of friends, but i didn’t need anyone else if i had you. I didn’t need anyone else like i needed you. My mind will not stop flashing random frames of moments spent in euphoria. Not sure how to come out of it, when rejection comes with walls of self-pity. Surrounded by it there is no where else that i can be. Feels like deja vu all over again. Doesn’t really matter what is lost or what is gained. But i still gotta run, run away as fast as i can. Before i go insane i gotta run from this pain. I hope it does not follow me again. Reminding me all the moments that i would never forget anyway. I wonder if i will ever find peace. Or shall i just cease to exist.