Oh yeh, i remember…  i once offered to heal your broken heart. Perhaps your first one to start. You said no, i couldn’t be the one, i was losing my years and you were too young. Days passed. months passed. You got a new job. Years passed. A new life had begun for both of us. And then you broke your heart. Again and again. My heart never longed for anyone but you. And then suddenly you crashed into my life again. You wanted to meet, catch up and have some fun. I felt it was too good to be true, i wasn’t a fool. But yeh i was in love, and you were irresistible. We met, we spoke. We laughed, shared thoughts. And i fell. Fell and fell hard. Fell apart. Love was what i needed. But you weren’t looking for one. Just a friend to help you heal and have some fun. I thought no harm done. But it turned out to be untrue. Hurt had long way to go.

You needed me to fill a hole in your heart. I needed you for much more than that. My weakest point in time, i knew only you could have saved me. But yeh, i didn’t wanna be saved. Cause i was not the one for you. Still i had to take the plunge, i drowned, not knowing that my heart would be shattered. Into so many pieces that i could not even recollect. I tried to scream, but my voice was blanketed, suppressed by the sound of my broken heart’s beat. Yeh, it could still beat!

For me a day to cherish forever, for you a day you might not even remember. For me a beautiful memory, for you the day of a big blunder. I thought i could love you, and i did as much as i could. I don’t now if we were best of friends, but i didn’t need anyone else if i had you. I didn’t need anyone else like i needed you. My mind will not stop flashing random frames of moments spent in euphoria. Not sure how to come out of it, when rejection comes with walls of self-pity. Surrounded by it there is no where else that i can be. Feels like deja vu all over again. Doesn’t really matter what is lost or what is gained. But i still gotta run, run away as fast as i can. Before i go insane i gotta run from this pain. I hope it does not follow me again. Reminding me all the moments that i would never forget anyway. I wonder if i will ever find peace. Or shall i just cease to exist.

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